I get asked about Plane Crashes more than anything else when I tell people I’m a flight attendant…by FAR! It’s not even close between that topic and all the rest (unruly passengers and the mile high club)
People are fascinated by it. I’m guessing because there are very few things in this world that are more visually impressive than a plane crash. Not impressive in a good way, but it certainly creates a lasting image doesn’t it? Think of how people rubberneck to see a fender bender; what if you were creeping by a wrecked 747? Of course you would look and remember every detail of what you saw.
Honestly though, I don’t think about it that often. I mean would you if you were flying half a million miles every year? If it does happen though, and I’ve already told my mom this, don’t feel like that’s the worst way a person could go. Here are worse ways to die in my opinion (in no particular order)
Eaten by piranhas
Burned to death
Buried alive (in either cold snow or hot sand or anything in between)
Dipped into boiling tar- who really cares if feathers are later added?
Locked-in syndrome-usually follows a stroke, very drawn out and painful
Eaten alive by fire ants, or any kind of ants. In fact it’d suck just as much to be eaten alive by lady bugs
Wood Chipper (it was horrible enough watching Steve Buscemi in one in Fargo, and he was already dead!)
Tossed into the ocean with concrete blocks on your feet. Most of the traditional mob deaths would be worse than a plane crash, though Joe Pesci’s death in Goodfellas might be alright.
Lost in the middle of the ocean. That may just be my personal worst way to die. I don’t like to even think about it.
Being on the Titanic, nearly as bad as above but at least you’re not alone and hopefully you had some decent food and entertainment before the iceberg- maybe you even had the chance to draw a rich girl naked!
Falling into a pit of snakes
Falling into a cave, breaking a leg, and never being able to get help
Smoke Monster from Lost
Watching that video from The Ring
Saying “Candyman” three times in the mirror
Anything Freddy Krueger related
Any of the ways you learn about when you go to the Torture Museum in Amsterdam http://www.torturemuseum.com/
I’m sure in those few seconds when you realize your plane is going down you’re going to experience terror like no other, but luckily it doesn’t last for very long and death itself is very quick and painless. I’m not saying that’s how I want to go, but at least it’s quick. And as far as the conversation in Clerks about masturbating one last time before you die in a plane crash… could you really get an erection in that moment?
So those are my thoughts on plane crashes, now please never ask me about them if I meet you in a bar or especially if we meet on a plane. Next blog will be much more upbeat I promise. This was probably the wrong thing to post just hours before I have to fly for thirteen days in a row.