The way it works is very simple. You will not be taken seriously as a “straight” male flight attendant until you pass a series of tests. First and foremost, if you can go your first year without touching another man’s penis then your friends, family, and colleagues MIGHT stop making air quotes when they talk about their “straight” male flight attendant friend/son/coworker/neighbor/lover. Most definitely you’ll be met with disbelief and skepticism. You are guilty until proven innocent. You are gay until proven straight, but don’t overtly flaunt your straightness, it’ll seem like you doth protest too much. You’ll hear phrases such as: “closet close” and “in denial”. That’s fine, just let it roll off your back. Let’s face it, you are a minority and people will let you know that every day of your working life. Learn to love the gays. You’re on their island and they can make your life miserable or wonderful. If you play your cards right you’ll have the best wingman a single straight boy could ask for. Having a good-looking, stylish gay man on your side when you walk into any bar in the world will only help your cause. They don’t give a shit about impressing girls so they’ll be confident and completely at ease with even the hottest, most unobtainable babe. You can just take the backseat and let your new best friend do all the work. At the end of the night he’s not going to be an option for her so there ya go!
For the first few months your same-sex oriented coworkers will hit on you, don’t think they won’t, even though your airline might have strict rules about saying and doing inappropriate things on the job. Please, no one follows those rules. That’s why we all got into the business of international man of mystery and intrigue in the first place right? Be flattered and appreciative, no doubt, but also be polite and unwavering in your declination. After awhile you’ll be down with the gays but not a “closet case” or “in denial”. They’ll accept you as their token straight friend and all will be right with the world. Within the job you’ll be stripped of your air quotes but you’ll still have to work on the general public’s opinion of you.
This concludes the first lesson. Just remember the essentials: you have a gay job or at best, a girl’s job. It will always be like that. Don’t try to upset the balance of the profession. Go with the flow and don’t touch anyone’s penis unless that’s who you are. Don’t do it just to fit in with the crew.