I have mad respect for Nikki Sixx. I never thought I’d say that because I don’t really like his music, never have, never will. But I have read his diary and I’m floored. I started reading Heroin Diaries this morning on the way to work and by the time the clock struck 3pm, I was 222 pages into it. It’s inspiring and humiliating at the same time. I’m not even talking about the content, because that can get redundant. I’m just amazed by his discipline to write in it everyday. I mean I can go weeks without saying anything because I’m too lazy to be bothered but he kept up with it religiously. Not only was he writing music and lyrics, rehearsing, touring, fucking multiple girls almost every single day, he also drank a bottle of Jack everyday and spent roughly $500 a day on coke. Then there was the heroin. I’m not that impressed with him keeping up the journal when he was doing all the blow, that’s understandable. I bet I’d have much more production if I did that much coke, but he was shooting up dope every single day and every single day he was writing in his notebook, even while he was at his most fucked up and thought midgets and Mexicans were scaling his fences with guns.
This diary took place in 1987, right at the peak of their popularity. This wasn’t some retrospective when he didn’t have anything else on his plate. I’m reading this insanity and it makes me sick when I try to think of the things that keep me from writing more. I can blame work but I have so much downtime that I could actually write while I work. I used to do that back in the day on the plane. I could blame the girlfriend of the moment but I’m pretty sure Nikki has more distractions than I do. It’s interesting that he doesn’t talk too much about the girls, or the band, or even about music. Most of his stuff is about his true love and passion, the drugs. I wonder what he’d write about if he didn’t have those in his life. I think that’s the problem, I don’t have a passion. If I had that I’d be much better. If I knew I had an attentive audience, that would make all the difference in the world.