That New Plane Smell

Worse than the passengers on this flight today, is the cockpit.  I’ve already been yelled at by the Captain for keeping my First Class galley too messy.

“I’m sorry.  Screw off Sir.  Why don’t you concentrate on driving and leave the kitchen to me?  It isn’t much, but it’s all I have!”  Later he yelled at me for making him spill his coffee all over the plane’s consoles and the First Officer’s arm.

“Brian, get in here!” he says from the cockpit as the First Officer cleans up his shirt.

“Yes Captain, my Captain.”

“Look at this mess, do you know how this happened?”

“Looks like you spilled your drink all over the controls of this multi-million dollar aircraft, sir.  Got the F.O. too.”

“Yes, there was an accident and it happened because my cup was filled to the rim with piping hot coffee.”

“Yeah, coffee shouldn’t be filled that full, especially in-flight.  Even if you’re on the ground and parked at the gate you can still spill so easily.  That’s why I don’t fill it past 2/3 capacity when people ask me for a piping hot drink.”

“Then why is Glen treating his arm for burns and why is this brand new plane covered in sticky coffee?”

“I have no idea sir, I didn’t pour that cup of coffee.  Someone else poured that for you, was I the one that handed you that cup?”

“Well, go find out who poured this cup, I want to have a word with them.”

Don’t worry Ch**, I won’t rat you out.  :)

During one of the in-flight P.A.s the Captain mentioned to the passengers that this was a new plane, second trip ever.  During deplaning one of the passengers asked the Captain if he was serious about that.  The good and proud Captain beamed and said, “Absolutely.”  He said it even had that new car smell in the cockpit still.  Chuckle chuckle.  Everyone laughed as I rolled my eyes and said that actually it smells a bit like stale coffee.  I’m not sure when exactly I stopped caring.

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7 responses to “That New Plane Smell

  1. Brian…This is the only one I’ve read so far…love it…sounds like it’s gonna be hard to peel me away from this blog!!! LOL!! Looking forward to reading more!! :)

  2. You sold me down the river Brian!

  3. Fabulous blog :-)
    You sound like a diplomatic type :-) Great writing. Next time I fly I’ll come on sniffing for that new plane smell…

    • I’m not sure we have many new planes these days. New cars smell better. And generally it’s not a good idea to stick your head into the cockpit and sniff. They’re cooped in there for a very long time and lots of things can happen in there! Actually, just breath through your mouth anytime you’re on a plane.

  4. First time I’ve had a chance to check in on your blog– too funny!
    I’m afraid I’m going to be hooked!
    Thanks for the laughs and for sharing.

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